Victory Grimoire

The dead stagger back to their graves, their work is now complete, 

As the vampires rush to their tombs, in gloom and in defeat. 

The agony has been lifted into the soothing, black sky as the owls hoot the paean, 

The echoes reverberate off the chill, the harbinger has now been seen. 

The once shining princess stares out with awe and pallor, shaking with every breath, 

Life has died, peace has fallen, and now glory is known as death. 

The rightly converted lycanthropes gaze afar from the branches of the willows, knowing they’ll never be alone, 

As the just saints of Hades, canonized by Lucifer, in proud vehement take their thrown. 

The passionate doom of the delusional, godly martyrs is much appreciated and in vain, 

The inevitable, carnal roar of earth’s victory is felt across the poles, the retrocedent holiness slain. 

The black unicorns raise their heads in honour of the darkness through its victory, 

As the lagoon of ghouls and lusting spirits celebrate their ministry. 

08/20/06

Why I Am Not a Taoist

Reflection Assignment for my Modern Chinese Philosophy Professor

July 2008

When you announced to us at the start of the first lecture that you would be teaching the entire course on Taoism, a big smile came across my face, and I felt a strong feeling of joy; for it is something I had been wanting to learn about for quite some time. The original curriculum of the course as described at the university website was the philosophy of Mao, which would have become much too dry, I think. So already I had something to thank you for, and something to look forward to. I had only known two things about Taoism: 1. That it was gaining considerable momentum in the Western World, and, from my own induction, based on what I had heard about its philosophy, that 2. it is thoroughly atheistic. That greatly appealed to me. To then learn that it is a system based on nature made me all the more delighted. After all – I am a nature boy. Always have been.

The very first lecture was my favourite. Not just for the humour and the outrageous idea of the talking snake in the book of Genesis actually being a giant phallus in disguise, but also for finally finding out the real origins of marriage. I was always suspicious of this ridiculous thing called “holy matrimony.” Of course, at this stage of my life I know that nothing deemed holy has any truth to it, as “holy” is merely a word and mask. The fact that the Tao Teh Ching is not considered a holy book already makes it clear that Taoism is not a religion. This pleases me, as faith is not required, and petty metaphysical debates of nonsense are not encouraged within the Taoist community and, hence, virtually nonexistent. Very noble. It shocks me how many people still have faith in deities, dogma and the absurd institution of marriage. You’re right: most people are stupid. Back in first semester, I took Philosophy of Gender and Sexuality and my thesis statement for my final essay was: “marriage is an impractical and failed by-product of religion.” Now I know, thanks to you, sir, that it is a by-product of the rise of agriculture, and merely sanctified by religion, in particular the patriarchy of the Abrahamic religions. It is appalling, and one more piece of evidence that a holy truth is nothing but a sanctioned lie: the hardest kind to uproot – and eradicate.

As for the actual philosophy of Taoism, there is much I agree with, and much I do not. Much of the philosophy greatly coincides with a great deal of the conclusions and ideas I have already come to on my own through experience, reasoning and the acceptance of both human nature and nature itself. I have always been a very intuitive person and have used this instinctively (at times reflexively) to help me in my life. And whenever I have gone against my instincts and gut-feelings, I have suffered greatly for it. “Hence, the sage is guided by what he feels, and not what he sees. He prefers what is within to what is without” (Lao Tzu, Tao Teh Ching, Part 12). For me, those words ring loud and clear. To me, life is absolutely beautiful and wondrous. Every day is a new adventure. And so I strongly agree with Lao Tzu, at the very core of me, that if you don’t value life, nothing will matter.

However, I am also a very ambitious person – inexorably so – with an unquenchable thirst for knowledge. Plus, I do take pride in myself, and have earned that right. In Taoism there is a clear attack on these things, just as there is in Christianity – my archenemy. I reject this Taoist and Christian will and call for complacency and stagnation. I do believe in progress, and I do most certainly believe in self-preservation, for it is key. That is why I cringe at the very idea of loving my enemies. Like Christopher Hitchens, it is one of the reasons I think Christianity is immoral, and strongly disagree with you that this command of Christ’s is a “breakthrough.” It is not. It is a vile, degenerate corruption of our much-needed animal instincts. For is it even remotely natural for us to love our enemies? Certainly not. This defies nature at full force. It epitomizes the most ruthless moving against its grain. I agree with Thomas Paine in his conclusion to The Age of Reason that no one can voluntarily love another, and to even attempt to do this, inevitably leads to hypocrisy, for it is a hypocritical command and can breed nothing else but its kind.

Are the Iraqi people supposed to love George W. Bush? Is it fair in the least to put such a Pharisaic burden on them or anyone else? I think not. As for me, I simply love and care about myself too much to do such a creepy and crippling thing. And I believe that if someone smites you on one cheek you should smash them on the other. Eye for an eye is not enough. They must be rendered too useless and terrified to ever even dare to hurt you again. I wish to be a haunting image in the minds of all my enemies. After all, I know there is no God to protect me. I have to do it myself, and, indeed, I do take pleasure in it. Unless, of course, “love” in Taoism is only meant in the action sense of the word, and not in the emotional – which cannot be forced. If this is the case, I can only accept it very rarely, when doing good for my enemies in a “loving” action or manner is actually beneficial to me, but only then.

So in taking this fascinating and enjoyable course of yours, Professor, and earnestly following along as you led us through The Way of Virtue, I must ardently thank you from the bottom of my heart for speaking so much truth, for not being afraid to offend a few sanctimonious fools and dead-heads, for making us laugh, think and for only expecting us to listen and open our minds. But most of all I sincerely thank you for having me now know with full certainty that a Taoist – I could never be.

Blossoming Dawn

As I sit by this semi-creek, 

The time is ripe to have my speak, 

Regarding this autumn-spring of mine, 

Blossoming further as my spirits shine, 

Life is O so good. 

I taste its fruits where I do go, in what I read, write and do, 

I feel my time is coming nigh and the joy that will ensue. 

In this dawn of life I have no fear, I walk on orange clouds, 

My heart is unfettered, weightless, free – the grace of glimmering mounds. 

Friends and foes will come and go, but I will carry on, 

I’ve earned my right to wear my crown – in my summer’s dawn. 

 07/20/07

Science and Religion: The Case of Galileo

Science and religion are like two worlds from distant galaxies (or perhaps better, from different parallel universes) colliding into each other head on. The difference being that both planets would be destroyed. In this case, however, science lives on and grows to better humanity while increasing our understanding of the universe. Religion continues to perish in the rubble of its dead idols; one of the reasons being, that science invigorates and gives substantial hope, whereas religion deadens and offers nothing but fear and false hope. As Galileo said, “the increase of known truths stimulates the investigation, establishment, and growth of the arts; not their diminution or destruction.” Indeed, the arts, yes, but not superstition. How shrewd he was in his wordings, and how afire he was for the truth. He lived in times of great constraint and peril, yet he did not let this hinder him from continuing his immeasurably important work, despite threats coming at him from every nook and cranny.

Nowhere is the fierce opposition between religion and science better illustrated than in the Bible itself. Shortly after man and woman are created in the book of Genesis a stern warning resounds from the Almighty: that they may eat the fruit of any tree, except for the fruit of the tree of knowledge (Genesis 2:16-17). Was this forbidden fruit called the fruit of sin, of wrong, of evil? No. The “fruit of knowledge.” As Friedrich Nietzsche so accurately puts it in The Antichrist: “Thou shalt not know.” Knowledge and science expose religion as mythology, and religious texts as the word, not of God, but of primitive, ignorant men, who declared their writings holy – so no one would dare question them.

Galileo is a man who dared to know, and beyond the Holy Scriptures. He was brought to trial before the Roman Inquisition for verses such as Psalm 93:1, which incorrectly tell us that, “The world is firmly established; it cannot be moved,” and for the fable of Joshua 10:12-13, where God stops the sun, instead of the earth, “in the middle of the sky” for it to delay “going down about a full day.” Suitably, the strength of the trial turned out to be a forgery by the Holy Office. And it took the threat of the rack by these so-called holy men to get him to recant his vital and groundbreaking discoveries. Now, in Cristiano Banti's famous 1857 painting, entitled Galileo facing the Roman Inquisition, what do we see? Is it not a god being tried by men so utterly unworthy, but granted authority over him due to a book suddenly on the brink of becoming obsolete in the realm of facts and truth? And so he stands tall and proud with his head held high, for he knows he’s done absolutely nothing wrong, and is in fact the highest breed of man - being tried by the lowest. He brings promise - they leave decay. For science evolves, nourishes and emancipates, while religion stagnates, corrupts - and fetters.

Jesus Being a Pest, Yahweh Being a Prick

In Matthew 26:36-45, Jesus requests three times of his daddy, "My Father, if it is possible, may this cup be taken from me. Yet not as I will, but as you will." Some people just crack under pressure, I guess . . . even the son of God himself. But I mean, come on! Three times?! Talk about being a pest! I thought he was all-knowing, so why would he have to make that feeble request even once? Didn’t he know that it “must be”? Didn’t he know that he absolutely had to die for the so-called sins of mankind and that there was no way out? Didn’t he realize, especially by that stage of the game, that even his omnipotent father couldn’t get him out of that one? I wonder how the rest of that conversation would have gone . . . the third time round . . .

JESUS: Please, Dad?! Pretty please with sugar on top?!

YAHWEH: No, Jesus! For the third time! Now stop asking me!

JESUS: Please?! I love you!

YAHWEH: You love everybody.

JESUS: But why do I have to go through all this shit? I don’t understand.

YAHWEH: Because of those two naked idiots in the Garden of Eden. They ate some fruit that gave them knowledge . . .

JESUS: I already know that stupid story. Come on! That whole thing about Adam and Eve is complete bullshit! They didn’t exist. Humans evolved from Australopithecus afarensis. There is no original sin, whatever the fuck that is.

YAHWEH: Yes, Son, but the Homo sapiens don’t know that yet. You and I just know that because we’re omniscient and created everything in the first place, Einstein.

JESUS: I know that!

YAHWEH: I know that you know that.

JESUS: Right. ’Cause you know all, and you and I are one. I am you; therefore I know all as well. Since we both have the same mind, I know all that you know, which is everything, ’cause we’re the one true God!

YAHWEH: Right. So why are you talking to yourself?

JESUS: I don’t know.

YAHWEH: Look, can we get this show on the road, please? I’ve got a lot of things to attend to. You can’t escape your destiny, Son. The Scriptures must be fulfilled. Now grow some balls and do this thing.

JESUS: Are you telling me that I have to be mocked, slandered, tortured and killed in the most heinous of ways as a “sacrifice” for the innocent disobedience of two nonexistent individuals, who ate a nonexistent fruit, from a nonexistent tree, which transferred nonexistent sin through the loins of all mankind?

YAHWEH: Oh, I’ll throw them all into hell forever if you don’t do it.

JESUS: But hell didn’t even exist until I started talking about it!

YAHWEH: Well, you’re not talkin’ your way out of this one, Son.

JESUS: But why do you want this? It’s all a sham!

YAHWEH: It’s the only way I can keep from taking my fury out upon them for all time . . . by watching you suffer and die.

JESUS: Your fury upon them for what? They’ve done nothing wrong, and you're the one who created them in the first place!

YAHWEH: I created them because I couldn’t get the little buggers out of my head, and they tormented me because they’re so fucking smug.

JESUS: What in the hell are you talking about, old man?! I’m about to get the shit beaten out of me and my ass crucified to two giant slabs of wood, and you’re babbling like a goddamn crazy person!

YAHWEH: I’m sorry, my son...
But until I’ve seen you whipped and beat, I cannot handle man,
Until I’ve seen you suffer, I cannot show the love I am.
Until I see your blood flow, and hear you scream in pain,
Every good deed that humans do will always be in vain.
Until I see them mock and tear you, and rend your skull with thorns,
My only joy will ever be to make them wish they were never born.
I put you there to suffer in agony, moaning with every breath,
My sadism saves mankind with your gory, gratuitous death.
Trust me, my son, don’t be afraid, for you know that we are one,
I cannot be sated until I hear you say that “it is done.”
Indeed you’ll die and descend to Hell where you’ll see dreadful things,
But then you’ll rise and sit by me and together we’ll rule as kings!
But until I’ve seen you ripped and pierced, I cannot tolerate man,
Until I’ve seen you in horror, I cannot be the being of love - I am.

JESUS: (...)

YAHWEH: Well? Any other questions?

JESUS: Jesus fucking Christ, you are really sick! Just what the hell was that?

YAHWEH: What, you didn’t like my poem?

JESUS: No, I didn’t like your freakin’ poem! Just how nuts are you? What is this?! What's going on?!

YAHWEH: You asked and you received, baby. Just like you preached.

JESUS: What is all this, one big joke to you or something? What’s going on here? And why am I talking to you if I am you? And if I know all that you know, why do I feel the need to keep asking you things? And why can’t I understand one goddamn thing you’ve been saying all this time? Why can’t I wrap my head around this whole ridiculous, morbid, horrible plot of yours? You’re not my father! I’m not the son of God! You’re not even God, are you?! You’re just a crazy voice inside my crazy head! You’re not real . . . are you?! (Listens) ARE YOU?! (Listens) Hello?! (Listens) Hey! Where the fuck did you go?! Hello?! (Listens) COME BACK! (Listens) HELLO?!

07/18/07

Epiphany

Written: April 28, 2006 

A few weeks ago, one night, in my car . . . just sitting . . . with a close friend, pondering life, high as a star, 

A morbidity came loose . . . in my mind. Where else? The usual. An equation beginning with the facing of my end, and the end of all, and their facing. Then of course the feeble attempts of human being the only creature in perpetual awareness – fear – of this, to perpetually do and act as if the day will never come – hence a futile suppression. But something is missing to trigger this desiderata; that is inevitable loneliness – being alone, and fear of it – the one thing worse than death: loneliness. 

It is this which has us desperately fight for life and make loneliness untrue, unreal, by searching for others, by scouring for love, executing talents, dying for praise, money, misery, problems, more people – eustress – anything to squash any possibility of any hint of loneliness. That is of course if we are healthy – or just deemed so. 

Through all this is that former fear of expiration forgotten: Death and loneliness assisting each other in assisting us. 

The former causing the latter, causing living – granting ease . . . or as much as realistically feasible. 

Fear of death => Fear of loneliness => Existing = Subdued or eliminated fear of both. 

And there it is: life’s equation of nihilistic existentialism. 

My buddy: “Dude, you’re seriously tripping me out.” 

Like I said . . . I was high.

Whether it Works

Whether it works out or not, I got to drive here on this sunny day,
Weather willing it to be this way,
This beautiful blue-sky sunny day.
How I adore days like these,
Moving swiftly, carelessly through days like these,
So perfect such days, so filled with life and spirit!
See? Even the birds agree; you can hear it.
Stressed and cleansed of all stress such days gift me,
They are a true gift; expecting nothing in return,
And for their allusion to a perfect world I do always yearn;
To travel through and be through,
To know through and see through,
To love through and grasp through,
That swishy sound of ripe May trees,
How I adore their uninhibited leaves,
Still calling my soul, always calling all; assuring me, wanting me…
Oh, this gorgeous day, what gifts of delight it brings me!
A reason of reasons I live for, a mother of heart,
It beats and resonates through all,
How lucky I am to have flown here (through this day) as the breeze embraced me,
It was well worth it, whether it works out or not.
And now on my way back I know this glimpse of a heaven will again surrender its gates,
Oh, the smell of nature…is there anything better? How we take for granted nature’s glorious traits.
I once again allow the breeze to whisk me away;
To kiss me and love me on this ethereal day,
And no matter what has and will come from what I’ve just done,
This day holds no vain,
No shame and no grain.
A bird again agrees in its appointed slot,
For the weather it was well worth it, whether it works out or not.

05/27/06