This poem was inspired to me by aphorism 29 of Nietzsche's beautifully vitriolic, brilliant, and earth-shatteringly incredible Antichrist. It reminded me of a loved-one who has never been happy with himself in the world, and so turned to Christianity as a defense-mechanism, and a place to hide within himself, which is a common, self-empowering mistake for people in sick states of mind to pitifully do out of desperation. He uses his faith not only to justify and sanction his illness (what Nietzsche would call his decadence), but uses it also as a weapon. A weapon to spread his disease, a weapon against the world which he is physiologically abortive in, against the flesh which he cannot gratify, and even against the joy of laughter if it is from mockery REMOTELY to do with sexuality! He became a REAL party-pooper. Too bad, so sad; one more person willingly victimized at the depraved hands of Christianity and all the conscience-rape it has to offer a self-loathing ascetic masochist. Not to mention the reward-aspect of it, which offers so much "divine" gratitude to someone UNABLE to grant himself anything – but denial.
Attacked from all sides or just feeling so,
Too weak for the world, for reality, to know.
No substance will do - bringing more out of you,
The last thing you need – an anti-numbing,
So you burrow within,
By reflex, at peace,
No matter where you’ve been,
Consummated physiological grease.
You’ve found your way,
On warm, rocky paths,
Buried is where you’ll stay,
Loving sweet hatred-Mass.
Don’t hate me for being of this world,
Happy, complete, jaded, bold,
I’ve made my choice to live, while disdainful angst has you cower,
You cannot be reached – an unblossoming flower.
I see you ostentatiously happy in your masochistic misery;
Self-made content in a world that can’t be broken,
A self-denying vice, so hollow, unspoken.
Nothingness has prevailed!
The imperious lies were made for you!
This is what it’s come down to!
“The Kingdom of God is within you!”
Seven months after writing that, I came across the following passage of Nietzsche's in his autobiography. It turns out, HE considered puritanical attacks on sex, lust, and life to be vice within themselves, as well! So I’m not alone. I was really blown away. I guess great minds think alike. :) Not that I would DARE compare myself to the man, of course.
“And lest I leave any doubt about my very decent and strict views in these matters, let me still cite a proposition against vice from my moral code: I use the word 'vice' in my fight against every kind of anti-nature or, if you prefer pretty words, idealism. The proposition reads: 'The preaching of chastity amounts to a public incitement to anti-nature. Every kind of contempt for sex, every impurification of it by means of the concept ‘impure,’ is the crime par excellence against life – is the real sin against the holy spirit of life.'” - Friedrich Nietzsche; Ecce Homo